Do you have a sense that there’s something you’re here for, things you want to do, opinions you want to express, but you haven’t yet encountered the situation that made that feel right?
Are you waiting for someone to give you permission, to tell you it’s okay?
This resistance does not develop in a vacuum. It’s not a result of some fundamental defect. There may be people in your life who have made you feel like it’s not okay. Probably without even meaning to.
At some point in your life, you may not have gotten something you needed. And the reality is, nothing is ever going to change that.
Accept that the people who raised you gave you all they could. They don’t owe you anything anymore. As an adult, it’s your responsibility to take yourself by the hand, approve of yourself, give yourself permission. And take control of your life. It belongs to you. Not to them.
It’s no one’s place or obligation to tell you what to do, or how, or when.
Even though it feels wrong, feels like you need someone to guide you, set you on your way, take you by the hand, show you, reassure you… You can find the strength to move forward despite that internal resistance.
What’s holding you back?
What situation, signal or feeling are you waiting for to know the time is right?
What person are you expecting to hear it from? Parent, spouse, partner?
When X happens… ?
When so-and-so does or says or indicates Y… ?
Something external? An influence beyond your control?
That’s never coming.
No one is going to step into your life and tell you it’s okay to start doing what you want, okay to start manifesting your purpose. If you haven’t gotten that signal from the outside yet, it is not coming. You have to look for it within.
It’s never too late. It’s messy and difficult, but it’s doable. And it’s worth it.
Try to understand what you fear would happen if you moved forward without getting that external signal. Is that fear really appropriate for an adult? Might it be left over from a time when you were not able to be self-sufficient? If you can identify that fear, you can begin to target a search for information that can help you overcome it.
An outside resource can be very helpful. Someone knowledgeable and objective can help you distinguish between what you’ve learned to believe, or perpetuated from childhood but don’t need anymore, and what is really appropriate to adult life, now, today.
If you struggle with this type of resistance, then taking action based on your own choices will feel wrong in the beginning. Try to pinpoint why it feels wrong. What tenet are you violating? Is that truly a guideline you want to let govern your life? Develop your own moral compass and don’t let others’ reactions shut you down. Learn what truly constitutes living responsibly and approve your own decisions.
Jump in. Get your feet wet. Accept that you’ll have to figure it out as you go. And that you can.