Concepts come to me in pictures. They always have. I hear words and my mind kicks into gear building images that represent the ideas and relationships. I visualize to understand, to explain, to remind myself of key concepts when life gets challenging.
The Bubble represents how an individual experiences life.
I envision life as a river. A river of water. A river of air. It varies. And it doesn’t matter. The river moves swiftly. Sometimes it’s calm and sometimes it’s turbulent, confusing and chaotic.
For our journey on this river of life, we are each given an individual and separate “bubble” within which we have complete control. And outside of which, we have zero control. Our bubble contains the whole of our personal life experience: physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual.
As children, we are dependent on adults to carry us along, to gradually give us, by nurturing and teaching, what we will need inside our bubble to successfully navigate adulthood. By the time we leave the nest—at roughly eighteen, or twenty-one, or whatever it ends up being—what we have, we have. The torch is passed. Whatever we still lack, and whatever the challenging, changing river demands as we go, is our responsibility.
While we are each of equal value, with equal right to be here, reality is that we each drop into a unique set of circumstances. We may all look like mature adults physically, but internally, some get much more than others. And some are even burdened with deceptions, clouding the surface of their bubble and distorting what they see.
But reality is also that, beyond the unequal circumstances, no one arrives in adulthood with all the knowledge, ability, or experience he will need to make it all the way down the river. We can never stop growing and learning, because the river will never stop changing.
Life is not equal or fair.
If you are lucky, you set sail on your own with the self-confidence to believe that you are capable of learning what you need as you go. If you are lucky, you got a clear understanding of reality and healthy attitude toward what is and is not within your control, what is and is not your responsibility.
If you didn’t get these things, the river will take you under. If you don’t have strength within, others will shove you around. If you don’t know how to protect what is yours, others will latch onto you, trying to reach into your bubble and control you, to take what they need from you, rather than working to get it on their own.
You can decide to let them use you, or you can steer yourself away.
You can decide to depend on others, find someone else to latch onto and let them make choices for you, or you can strengthen your bubble and learn to navigate for yourself.
Your bubble is yours to manage and no one else’s. Within it, you get to set your own standards for living.
But we all have to share the river. Working with others can make the ride a lot better. If you want to be a member of a group—a society, a family—you are obligated to behave responsibly and respectfully toward others.
Life is a balancing act between managing what’s inside your bubble and being a responsible member of the groups you choose.
You’re primary obligation is to protect and nurture your bubble.
No one else can, will, or should be doing this. If the group you are a part of tries to keep you from doing it, tries to control you, or take from you because they choose not to nurture their own, you have a right to protect yourself, to remove yourself from that group.
I know and believe from personal experience, that by nurturing and strengthening the inside, building a warm, bright, strong bubble of our own, we naturally become more willing and able to offer genuine support and compassion to those who are struggling. We can more successfully withstand and resist the efforts of those who choose not to take responsibility and want to control us and, in effect, suck the life out of us in order to build up their own bubble.
I also know from experience, that if the outside looks scary and unmanageable, it is because of chaos and mystery on the inside.
You not being in control of you makes you feel powerless, not the uncontrollable world outside.
Whatever is inside your bubble will either:
- Cushion and protect you from all that is outside and enable you to steer your own ship… OR
- Let in all the turbulence and confusion and opportunity for others to control you.
Becoming strong and whole enough to support ourselves and others, and to resist others’ efforts to control us, is what allows us to live a happy and fulfilled life. And to thoroughly enjoy the ride—bad and good, dark and light, pain and joy—with a feeling of confidence and control.
